Visiting Aunt Elsie

Aunt Elsie

The hermit does not just keep me home. The hermit keeps me from doing. Last weekend's visit with Timmy was one of the nicest I have had in a while. I came home to a clean house Sunday, thanks Angie, so I was free to just do. I finished the last of 4 drawings I started a couple of years ago. I started an oil painting that kept me painting for nearly 4 hours. I entered Edith Wharton’s world for a while when I continued my reading of Age of Desire. I took a nap so I could watch 2 hours of Downton Abbey followed by Scandal…I am addicted to both.

I went to work Monday feeling relaxed and satisfied and wondering if I might venture out during the upcoming weekend. I had no idea what might get the hermit going again. Then the phone call came from Aunt Elsie in Midlothian. Cousin Ginny is bringing Uncle Billy and Aunt Jo Ann for a visit from South Carolina, would I like to come? Few things will get me off the couch quicker than an opportunity to see my Uncle Billy. I was so grateful for the invitation. Sisters Cynthia and Marsha agreed to come along. The Sisters Three never do anything together, so this was going to be extra special. And it was. The Sisters Three made the drive in just under 2 hours. Cousin Julia Ann, her husband and 3 beautiful daughters also showed up.

To lay your eyes on your seldom seen relatives and to learn about their lives is a wonderful thing. To bask in my Uncle’s humor is a wonderful thing. To see our Aunt Elsie doing so well is a wonderful thing.

As you get older, you realize how much family history has not been captured. So, we had questions for the Aunts and Uncle. Most significant for the Sisters Three, was what we learned about our father from Uncle Billy. We learned our father was a very good man when he married our mother. Sadly, we did not know that good man who did not drink and did not abuse his family. For all these years we could not understand how our mother, a very good woman, could have chosen this man for her husband. Now we know that she had chosen a very good man who did not drink and did not abuse his family. Things later went very wrong, but our mother chose a very good man who was liked by her family. Confusion left the Sisters Three and was replaced by comfort in Aunt Elsie’s living room.

Another favorite story of mine was learning that when Marsha’s daughter visited Mom’s gravesite back in the fall, she saw a white butterfly dancing around and a black butterfly that had trouble flying at all. I then shared my experience last summer while walking Dolly in the field next to my workplace. Every day since Mom's death a white butterfly followed Dolly and I in that field. One day, the white butterfly was accompanied by the strangest black butterfly. It was very large and it had trouble flying. As I watched them, the black butterfly dove toward the ground. I walked over to the spot curious to examine this very strange looking black butterfly. It was no where to be found. It was as though it had gone into the ground. Hhhmmmmm.

Not sure what I might do next weekend, but for now I am going to see what Edith Wharton is up to.

The Hermit Ventures Out

I have become a hermit. Sister on the go quit going. I needed to be forced out of the house so I called my brother to invite myself and Dolly to visit the compound. Sara was going to be with her family for part of the weekend so Timmy enthusiastically said yes. He invited sister Cyn, and arranged for us to have lunch with sister Marsh in Roanoke on Saturday after his guitar lesson. During the week, Sara agreed to drive nearly an hour to my office to pick up my guitar so Timmy could deliver it the next day for new strings and a setup. His enthusiasm made me feel excited about leaving the house.


Cynthia left work early on Friday to head down to Clifton Forge. She had a wonderful visit with our old neighbors, Jess and Eileen. She visited Mom’s gravesite. She was feeling very good by the time she got to Timmy’s in the late afternoon and anxious to tell us about her day. We had a nice evening together and the five dogs were equally happy.

Leaving the five at home Saturday, Timmy, Cynthia and I drove the hour to Roanoke. While Timmy had a private guitar lesson, I enjoyed a private concert by someone trying out a guitar. He had his back to me and was not aware of his audience, which made it sweeter for me. Clearly, he liked the guitar. I couldn’t see his face, but I could read his pleasure in his body language. He was shyly pleased when I thanked him for his private performance.

After Timmy’s guitar lesson, we met Marsha and Mike for lunch. Usually our family gatherings would demand a much larger table, but this was a small group of 5 that sat comfortably at a bar table. The entire group could actually have one conversation at a time. That is rare when you have a large family. It was intimate and involved.

First picking up my guitar, we headed back to the compound and our dogs. We spent the rest of the evening in our comfort clothes, Timmy practiced his guitar assignment for the week, and conversation was easy. I felt the hermit in me calling and decided not to resist. I retired to my room to pick up where I left off on the book I just started…The Age of Desire. I felt a need to find out what Edith Wharton was up to.

I was glad I left the house.

Photos Tell The Story

My brother, Steve, has been working for months on a family history project. He asked me to send him photos, which took me on a fun walk down memory lane.  Here are some photos I sent to him representing fond memories from my past. Enough said.

My Family Christmas 2012

This Christmas calls for something a little different. Last year Mom could not make it to our family celebration. She passed away in March. Luckily, the family did go visit Mom after our usual dinner and Chinese Gift Exchange last year, which resulted in a family photograph. Most of us had not seen this photograph until last night's family get-together. Tina and Renick gave us each a copy of this family photo. It was unexpected and truly the best gift of all. 

After Mom passed away, I decided I wanted to host the family Christmas gathering this year. I have not had a tree in many years, so I wanted to have a real one. Because of a hip replacement the day before Thanksgiving, I had to start prepping for the gathering early.  Cynthia and I  made sure my home was decorated prior to surgery. This task got more complicated when her hand got caught in a conveyer belt right before we were supposed to decorate. She said between the two of us we did not make a whole person, but we gotter done. We laughed and cried going through Mom's boxes to find her favorite decorations: a ceramic tree she had for many years, an angel and a wreath she hung on her door to name a few items.

My sister and her husband had given Mom a flower arrangement in a sled one year. She loved it and kept it on a table long after the roses faded. I took it to a florist  who made an arrangment exactly like the original. I used it as the centerpiece on the dining table.

A couple of weeks before the dinner, Timmy and Sara met Cynthia and I at a tree farm where we picked out my tree. They brought a wheelchair along so I was able to be wheeled into the field to help find the right tree. Now I know why Mom would be frightened at times in her chair. Not being the driver, you feel very vulnerable to a tip over.

Timmy put the tree up. Sara is the light specialist. She and Cynthia put the decorations on the tree. I did the ooowing and ahhhing. Cynthia had an ornament made for each of us to put on our trees in memory of Mom.

We added a few of my own..

Friday night the 3 sisters and a niece had a girl's night. We watched a movie, laughed, cried. Marsha had us in stitches "smoking" a chocolate hazelnut Pirouline.

The next morning the girls had breakfast together before getting busy to ready things for the arrival of the rest of the family. Once everyone had arrived, we gathered in the living room as I had asked everyone to bring a memory of Mom.  Mom had attempted to revive her family tradition of reading the Christmas Story from the 2nd chapter of Luke. I quickly teared up, so Marsha, calmed by Paxill, did the reading from a Bible given to my grandmother Christmas Day, 1960.

I then read a verse from a Christmas card Cynthia gave to Mom in 1993. Mom had written a note on the card:
"Today I want you to read this to all present. It is so nice. '93."  Next I passed out to each sibling a booklet sent by our brother in California.  It is a very thoughtfully put together snapshot history of our mother and father.

I gave Mom  a book in 1997 that gave her the opportunity to record her history. Each page asked a question. She did not complete every page, but she did provide us with some information we did not know about her and some laughter. For example: the wedding dress in the photograph on the front page of my brother's booklet was made by her mother.  She was delivered by a midwife. The house Mom was born in, we learned last night, is probably the house Sara's mother lives in now.

I also gave copies of an oil painting I did of our mother from a black and white photograph that I believe is her college graduation picture.

Others shared their memories of Mom. With 6 kids in our family, there are lots of stories to share. We then sat down for our Christmas dinner. You can tell I was not myself as there are no food photos.

We always finish up with a Chinese Gift Exchange. The surprise gift this year was opened by Tina. She actually loves Baby Babu.

Sometimes you get what you want...

Thanks to my family for a wonderful evening. Thanks, Mom, for so many wonderful memories. Merry Christmas everyone.

New Year 2012

New Year's Eve this year is the best for me in a long time. Twelve good friends got together at the invitation of Mss Gail and Mr. John. I always love being in the land of milk and honey so where but here would I want to spend New Year's Eve? We all shared in the cooking, some of it at the direction of Miss Gail.

Of course, the Master Gravy

Maker needs no direction.

There is always an outdoor fire going and we all end up here off and on during the day/night.

There are musicians in our group that kept us entertained while we waited for the midnight hour.

New Year's Day my family had our family Christmas celebration. Amond other things, we did a tribute to Toby Keith with the red solo cups. Sadly, this was the first year ever that our mother was not able to join us. After dinner, we took the celebration to her. Her smile was the best present ever.

Thanksgiving 2011

Thanksgiving, for me, is always a time to relax and get ready for Christmas. Wait, did I say "relax" and "get ready for Christmas" in the same sentence? Okay, it is a busy time. Real busy. But fun. And that can, end the end, make you feel like you relaxed a bit. At least for me. 2011 was a really good Thanksgiving for me.

I relaxed while pretending to play the guitar I had just purchased.

My sister decorated her tree...always beautiful.

Cynthia and I went shopping for ingredients needed for all the cakes we would give away at Christmas. The grocery store is always fun during the holidays. They have more than food to entice you.

Shopping is always hard on me. I don't like it. What I do like is finding an interesting place to take a break. I have a hard time focusing when I shop so I need lots of fun breaks.

Once we had all the supplies we needed,we went home and started baking.

What would the holiday be without some Mom time?

I'm thinking life is pretty good.